God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.

It’s been a little over twenty days since my last blog…I have had trouble figuring out what this post should be about. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you what I have been through in the last twenty days. Why dont we begin with the good stuff –

Since my last blog post, Robertson has had it’s first snow and the city of Cape Town experienced one of the worst storms to welcome the rainy season. It brought havoc to the whole of the Western Cape. Multiple fallen trees, slippy roads, snow, 100 kilometers per hour winds with a below zero chill factor and rain drops falling from every angle possible. We made it through, and scored some epic photos! (The one of me, I just have to give photo credit to my amazing sister: Mikayla – this photo is CLASS)

 

 

Also since my last blog post, my brother has happily moved to Hout Bay in the Western Cape and has begun his new job as a chef. A restaurant overlooking the ocean as he cooks everyday, getting to visit the beach whenever he wants, he is definitely living the dream. It’s been so nice to have all my siblings in one province for once. My sister is still (obviously) living with me, which I think has been the greatest blessing that I could ever ask for right now!

I have had a troubling question stuck in my mind for the past week. Why is ‘giving up’ so bad? There are different types of reasons people give up on things, but ‘giving up’ is always put into one category! And it’s always a bad thing! “You didn’t try hard enough, you didn’t work hard enough, your too lazy to finish, giving up is easy!” But what if the reason you want to give up is because you simply just cannot carry on. You have been beaten and broken, and there is no way you can carry on.

Don’t get me wrong here, but I honestly have no intention of “giving up” anything at the moment. It was just a thought that was well, thought…at the worst of times, giving up is just the answer. Packing up and leaving it all behind you seems to be the easiest. Is it really the answer? Is leaving all your troubles behind the answer? I have wanted to give up multiple times in the last twenty days. I have never met anyone that makes you question everything about yourself, your abilities, your enthusiasm, your dreams. I have never been to a place where I feel like the ladder is broken, and I am stuck. I am not sure how to explain it, and I just don’t know what more I can do anymore. I have given 110% every day, every hour, and every second that I have been here, I have cleaned stables when I need not too, I have not only gone the extra mile but I have gone extra ten miles. If there was something to be done, I would be there. I am always giving more, without one single utter of a complaint, yet I still feel rather insignificant. I don’t know, I am just struggling to find the good in anyone anymore. I simply cannot find the positive in the past two weeks. I cannot find inside my heart to believe that someone is mean because they just are. That is how they “deal” with things, and you must just live with it. I refuse to believe that a person “is trying to teach you” when they call you useless.

No one should have to or deserves to feel so small, and so insignificant from people you hoped to look up too.

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So after getting all of that off my chest…I am going to be (and need to be) super inspirational and pumped up for life because that is just the person that I am. I am NOT ready to go anywhere and I am going to finish what I started! YES, someone had the power to use words to break me down…it hurt, it hurt a lot. I don’t think I have cried that much in my life. Being brought up with the best values, being taught to go the extra mile, being okay when you don’t get any credit for the hard work because you simply know that God knows and He is proud of you. THAT is enough for me! I don’t need to become a hard person with no feelings to make it in this industry, I have made it this far by simply being the person God made me. I have achieved more than I ever thought I would.

I honestly did want to write all rainbows and smiles for you today but I just cannot. Yes, life is not only sunshine and daisies, life has some thorns and rocks to throw at you as well. I don’t have a blog to make everyone happy with smiley stories, I have my blog to write about MY journey through stud life. Unfortunately, everyday is not going to be a good day.  It’s a little something called, LIFE…one day I am going to go back and read about all of this and know I came out a little stronger and a little tougher.

Thank you for reading! I hope somehow that my blog is an inspiration. People are going to tell you that you need to change, but God made me who I am and He knows what He is doing. He put me here for a reason, and if I weren’t meant to be here…I wouldn’t be.

Until next time.

H.O.P.E – HOLD ON, PAIN ENDS.

Grow through what you go through.

I have not posted anything in quite a while, so I thought I would just sit down today and write a little update on everything.

Let’s get updating. If I thought previous months were crazy, I should think again. I had been looking forward to May for ages since my family came down for a visit all the way from Limpopo and my brother came from Natal, it was the first time in a long time we were all together. They had planned a visit for a while so that my sister could come down and live with me.  It was an awesome visit, and I loved being with my whole family again…we ate, we fished, we laughed and we ate some more. The older you get the more you appreciate the time that you have with family. I definitely savored every single moment. I think the goodbye was not as hard this time because my sister was staying behind. She has been with me now for about three weeks…time has just gone so quick while she has been here; I have loved every single minute having her with me. The days seem shorter and my smile bigger. She has brought back a side of me I had thought was lost…you do become the people that you spend most of your time with. That is the thing about stud farms; you see the same faces every day. There are no clients that come in on a daily basis. It’s just you and the same colleagues every day.  It is so hard not to fall into that trap, I found I was more negative and complaining was coming too easy. I decided to remove myself from all of that. I just need to thank my sister though…she has not been corrupted by the world – She is still my pure little sister and holds the innocence and safety of home within her beautiful heart. I thank God every day for blessing me with a friend within a sister and for bringing this opportunity for us to live together…I have been grounded by my family just by chatting to them but now I have a little piece of my family with me. I needed her more this week than I have ever needed her before. Sorry but this calls for a hashtag…

#BLESSED

In between family visits, sister adventures, new adventures…life and work still goes on. I have already sent another lot of yearlings to the sales and have two lots being prepared at the moment. It is much easier now with the yearlings since they are much older (almost two years old now). They handle everything like champs, just walk straight into the walker, and they take blankets like a breeze. The horses (and I) are taking to prep much easier now. I know the routines, the horses, the schedules, everything….I am a yearling prep machine.

All the while we are dealing with yearling preparation and all tIMG_0510heir treatments and issues…we are almost finished with weaning all the foals. The last group will be coming in next week and then all the weanlings will be my department as well (that is probably one hundred weanlings).

All in a days work right. People always wonder what life is like on a farm, well, I am here to tell you. There is never nothing to do. There will always be a pole that needs fixing, a horse that needs tending, they all need to eat, and boy, do they eat! That is what I like about this job…every day is a new one…routine? What is that? Horses will always have something new to throw at you, a new lesson to learn every day.

Before we know it the breeding season will be upon us. At least this wont be my first rodeo. I don’t have to get use to a new routine on a new stud and everything. The only difference this year is I will or might be foaling on my own! Scared? YES! Excited? OH YES! This will be the biggest step in my career.

I still cannot believe I have been on this stud for almost a year. I thought I would feel like I wanted to stay, I thought I would have found my ‘permanent’ And then God does something to put me straight, as if to say, “Excuse me, why are you letting go of all your dreams…this is just a chapter in your story!” I have a great God. I am only 23 now. I still have a lot of the world to see and I WILL lead a horse in the ring at Gold Coast before I even think of staying in one place. Taking into account that there is still six months of the year left, there is still going to be a lot more to learn. This year is just going to fly by before you know it. I think I am more excited now more than ever to leave. I have gained experience in so many fields I never thought I would have the opportunity too, I gained confidence in certain fields and lost a bit in others. I am glad I stayed for more than a season, I have more experience under my belt and a beautiful addition to my CV.

Before I close…My mom made me realize that I have been so focused on the negative people and all the things have come against me that I have realized that I have forgotten why I love this job so much. I was so focused on the negative, I forgot about the positive. I was so focused on things that needed to be done, I was so focused on what could go wrong…I was missing out on all the moments that things went right. I heard once that life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it.  I decided to let stress, worry, and negative people control my outcomes. Not anymore. I have decided to go back to that little girl who just needed the warm breath of a gentle giant on her face to make her day, and the graze of a prickly muzzle to make her smile. You know what, you do only live once and if you do it right…once is enough! I am back to that girl who doesn’t have a job, she has a passion.

“…life is 10% what you make it

and 90% how you take it.”

Last week was not the greatest of weeks in the history of great weeks, not work wise but life wise. My Dad always told me that, “…once you have had the worst of the worst days out of the way, only good days can come after that…”

So, excited for the week ahead, I get to see my father and brother on Friday and I have an off weekend coming up! I have another week with the best roomie anyone could ask for, a job everyone only dreams of, a future to work for and be excited about, a loving family by my side. What more can I ask for?

I think you are all caught up now…that is just about everything in a nutshell. Thank you for readying.

Over and Out.

Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory. – Dr. Seuss

Hello again strangers,

It’s been quite a while, but I am back in action.

Let me begin by saying that my sister and I had the most amazing, mind-blowing, bucket list-kinda-stuff, out of this world, unbelievable time in New Zealand. The things we did, the stuff we saw, times that will be treasured forever. I still cannot believe that we dreamed of the day we would travel together but it always seemed like just a dream. Now that dream came true and my sister and I have traveled not one, but TWO countries together! All I really have to say is that we have an amazing God: we are crazy blessed! I know this is only the beginning, we have many adventures to come. Oh, thank you for everyone who liked our travel Instagram! #muchlove

I will be writing a separate blog post all about our time in New Zealand with pictures and all. I just wanted to let all my followers know that I am back, and fill you in on what has been happening since. Other than feeling like I have gone through a break-up (with travel). Don’t laugh, I heard it is a real thing…

Sehnsucht (n) Origin: German

A wistful longing and yearning in the heart for travels that have been and travels to come.

When you’re not travelling this can be an overwhelming feeling, or when you think about the travel you’ve done and you wish you could relive it all over again. This feeling is why you need to make the most of every moment! It’s why the more you travel, the harder it gets.

http://www.migratingmiss.com

Can you actually believe I have been back at work for two weeks already? So much is happening at the moment, we have started weaning the foals (taking them away from their mothers). I was quite excited about this since I have never been around for the weaning process. It has been so much simpler than what books explain, or what I imagined. I guess all farms do it differently, but I really like the way our farm does it. It’s so hand-on and there is so much patience and care the foals don’t even know their mothers are gone. It’s pretty cool! I try to be involved with as much as I can and help out wherever I can, even though I am technically on the yearling side. I am also assistant to the foaling side but apparently weaning is not apart of our job. Some people believe that if it is not in their job description then it’s not their “problem”. I cannot think that way, I believe every opportunity is a chance to learn even if it’s not my ‘job description’. This is the first farm I have been on where it has been like this. “Teamwork” is not a regular word here, it’s every man for himself really. I don’t really care about the whole, “this is my side, and that is your side” situation. If you need a hand, I will lend you one…if I see something that needs to be done, I am going to do it. That is how a stud farm works!

In between weaning, we have tons of sales preparation going on. Horses that need to go in the walker, horses that need to be groomed and hand walked daily. Then I have to look after the rest of the yearlings that haven’t made the cut for the major sales (but will go to other sales), in between dealing with farriers, vet visits (my favorite), and then my not so favorite-grumpy people, and people who don’t want to work.

I just cannot believe that it’s been three weeks since our big adventure.  Where did three weeks go? I like being excited for something, looking forward to something. The next thing is that my family (hopefully, the WHOLE family) will be coming down to Cape Town to visit me…and and and, wait for it, another exciting thing is that my sister will be staying with me for a couple of months. Talk about looking forward to something, the time cannot come quick enough! We can add some South African adventures to our list.

So this week I need to conquer some mountains anIMG_6176d make some decisions. So much going on in this head of mine, just too much to get through right now. I just wanted to let everyone know that I am back on African soil, back and blogging about life, horses, people, problems, everything really…you guys know me.

Thank you for listening…

Here’s to the stories to come!

 

 

 

 

 

Make them wonder how you’re still smiling.

Before I begin, I need to state something that has been holding up this post. My blog is about my story, my experiences, the way I felt and the way I see the world. I am not here to just write about sunshine and roses because that is what people want to hear! Life is not like that, life has it’s up’s and downs. I want to read back on these stories…I want to look back and say I made it, look who I am today! Most of all, I want you to read it and think, “If she can do it, so can I!”

So, the January sale is done and dusted. Months of preparing horses day and night making sure they are in tip top shape to be sold under the judgmental, careful, extremely excruciating process of picking a champion. It’s always funny to me, you spend hours and hours with these horses, knowing their good side and their bad side like the back of your hands…and to give them away to the highest bidder who thinks that they walk just right, their legs are straight enough or their heads are in proportion to their bodies. What about that horse that has slightly skew legs but has the most loving nature…he could be a champion too. That is the thing though, you never know. It’s all about taking the chance!

It’s a weird industry!

Well, let me get to sales week. I have no idea where to begin! Ready to go with new trainers and all, prepared for the hard work ahead. All thirty-six of our horses arrived at the Cape Town Convention Center mid-day on the 17th of January. I was so happy I got to drive in the truck with the horses, in the front! Getting in with my short legs was a whole story on it’s own!

We stayed in a beautiful hotel, my room was awesome, the shower was grand, and the bed was comfortable. Much better than what we stayed at when we did sales in New Zealand! I was not quite sure what to expect here, I was warned that  it was going to be tough and a lot of hard work (that never stopped me). I survived Karaka, I am sure a draft of thirty-six horses will be a breeze.

I was suffering with terrible hay fever the whole week, barely being able to breathe through my nose, being sworn to and embarrassed in front of the biggest people in the industry on top of it all. Sound like fun? People now tell me that it’s because “people” are under a lot of pressure, “they” are stressed, it’s a lot for “them” to handle. You know what, that is NOT an excuse! I REFUSE to accept that, under the most stressful situation I believe you can find enough humility to treat people with respect! Don’t you think we would then work harder and harder and try be better and better? How do these people’s brains work? Now I am the one who people will remember as the idiot that couldn’t do anything because that is how you portrayed me!

All I have got to add is, THAT is exactly what a life without God looks like! Unhappy, stressed out, tired, and a stone hard, ice cold heart.

Too scared to even sit down and have lunch, in fear of your name being shouted out with multiple curse words in front of an overseas buyer, I stood just waiting at the top of the yard…feet dead from the weight and blisters boiling in your tight shoes from swollen feet…wearing a smile behind the pain and boiling blood with images of packing your bag and leaving with a mic drop moment at the next tipping point (that would never happen).

Sales ended with a sort of anti-climax, no celebration, no thank you, nothing. We had sold all the horses, packed up and went back to our hotels at nearly 12pm on Sunday night. I don’t want fancy champagne, I don’t want a box of chocolates, I just want a thank you…a simple thank you for all the hard work and even a sorry for being so hard, but we got nothing.

I am trying to explain that feeling that I got, I simply cannot put it into words…being yelled at and well, you know – in Harry Potter what dementors do to wizards when they attack, they suck all the happiness out of the victim. I guess that is what it felt like, it felt like I was useless and there was no point in trying to prove him wrong because everyone close enough now believed it too. Through the tears streaming into my eyes, and broken voice, I still called lot numbers and greeted buyers with a firm hand shake and a big smile. I carried on. My light was fighting to shine through the biggest storm and strongest winds threatening to break the glass of my lantern and blow out my light.

So, that was the sales all wrapped up short and well, depressing – sorry about that. I am not going to sit here and candy coat an experience because it makes good reading. This industry is not easy especially when you are five foot something, with a small voice and an extremely big heart, just wanting to make a name for herself, make her parents proud, and live a dream people only imagine in their lifetimes. I am glad I had a “friend” there, for months she had made sure I didn’t have it easy, but in the time where we had shared the same pain we sort of had an understanding. We wouldn’t have made it without each other. Who know’s what it will be like back on the farm…I am just glad that in a dark place the most unlikely person found their light. Let’s hope it keeps burning.

Now only two weeks and a weekend and I will be setting off on a grand adventure with my little sister to New Zealand. Exhausted, and mentally finished, I simply really need to put the past behind me. I was trying to search for a soul gripping quote about letting the past go, and looking forward to the future. Well, you know what, there is really nothing more to be said. It’s that easy…just let go. There are more chapters in this book to read!

You will be too much for some people, those aren’t your people. Glennon Melton

 

What’s comin’ will come and we’ll meet it when it does. – Hagrid

I had written an “almost” whole post before I left for Christmas holidays and didn’t end up posting it. I did in fact post a little video with all (well, most) of the pictures I had taken during the season. If you follow me on facebook, you would have seen it. (Hint-Hint). Anyways, I have decided to scrap that old post and start afresh, seen as it is a new year. Happy New Year to all my followers, and the few that read my blog. I really do appreciate it, I still hope to inspire you through my journey…even if it is just one person. So, thank you for the support…this year will be my first off season and I am doing another season at the same stud farm! I am really excited, I know that this road is going to be an awesome journey and the destination is going to be worth it!

My Christmas break was just amazing, just what I needed after the season. I can’t thank God enough for working things out in my favor so I could spend Christmas with my family…most of all my sister’s 21st birthday. If God is for you, who could possibly be against you. Back in time for my New Years shift (unfortunately) wish I could have spent longer at home, but the positive side is, 28  days from now my sister and I will be jet-setting to New Zealand! Not so bad right? It still didn’t stop me from balling my eyes out at the airport! Idiot! I cant help it, I hate saying goodbye. Hate it. As my dear Mother would say, “Get over it, and get on with it!” In an extremely caring, loving way…of course! She has a way with words, I thought she was being tough in the beginning but the older I have gotten, I have realized that she was teaching me that at some point you have just got to buck up, it is the only way you can move forward! No point dwelling on the sad stuff, thank you Mom. I just love her!

Now, on my own again, settling in…getting ready for the year ahead! One whole year at the same stud, I couldn’t believe it at first but I am really excited now! I am excited to finally help with the weaning process, and prepare for more sales, assist with many more veterinary projects, and so on. It’s going to be exciting! I have a year to save for my plane ticket to America, that is my next destination! If Highlands sends me or I follow my dreams to Lanes End, we will see. Isn’t that the magic of a journey, you never know where undiscovered roads lead too.

I wanted to write about New Year’s Resolutions, my resolutions. Every year it’s almost the same-get fit, loose weight, exercise more, eat healthy, save money, be better. I still aim to do that, but a few more things to add to the list is to be okay on my own, live everyday to the fullest, be slow to anger and worry, be smart, learn learn learn. They all sound like old resolutions, everybody’s resolutions really. But these are mine, among many. The point I am trying to make is, there is always things we want to get better at or improve…resolutions? Call it what you want.

So this is it, my first post of the New Year, this year is going to be an awesome one…I can feel it! I want this year to be the year for my family. There are still obstacles that stand in my way, and have unfortunately followed me into the new year, people to be exact.  I WILL NOT let people control my happiness or my future anymore. That is God’s job! So, this year I am just going to take everything one step at a time…

STEP ONE: CTS Book 1 Yearling Sales – LET’S DO IT!

Another summer day, has come and gone away.

I am sorry I haven’t posted in a long time. It feels like forever, to be honest I have sat down and wrote several times but my mind was not quite in the same place as my heart. My mother taught me to never do anything when I am angry. So it would have definitely showed in my writing.

Well, the past two weeks has gone by in a flash. Last, last weekend I celebrated my 23rd birthday. My family brought me to tears as I opened their surprise package that they sent me. I was super emotional, I was going to say, “I don’t know why” but I am always emotional. That was the BEST part of the whole day. Too feel so close to them even though I am so far.

Only one whole week has gone by since, and I need a foot rub, a back rub, leg rub, head rub, and can someone rub my heart too? I have never ever experienced more mental drainage than physical. This job is definitely  the other way round right?! You know those movies, where there is always that bad guy that wont settle until their lies and wicked ways ruin your life and make YOU look like the bad guy. HELP ME! I have never had to deal with this before! I am stuck between a rock and a boulder!

Like superheroes, and nerds, and those unexpected heroes that save the day. I don’t feel like one of those. How do you fix this, how do you push through the climax and defeat the villain to find your happily ever after? I was told the past week that people have come, people have fought but lost the battle and decided that it was too much, (this came as a surprise to know that I am not alone, I am not the first one) I must stand out and be the change…be the light to finally defeat this darkness.

BE THE LIGHT! Be the light. This week’s challenge. To be the light in the darkness, be the one to finally conquer this battle. I am sounding really dramatic, I know. But this is how it feels, this is how I feel.

I cannot really share much about work, the horse industry right? In a nutshell, the season has been winding down quicker than we expected. We have only two mares left to foal and as usual, they will hold on to till the very last minute. I have foaled a total of fifty-four mares this season. To be honest, I am not as exhausted as I thought I would be. It was most definitely a very long season, and we had our ups and downs, but we made it. We made it. Normally it would start feeling more settled and a little relaxed but my stress levels are still at about ninety nine percent with the sales yearling in, and the multiple treatments that has fallen into my hands, sick horses, new horses, you name it…I am doing it. I have experienced some awesome things in the past week though, I assisted in my first castration (not as grueling as you think), and I was in charge of rectals and vet work. I have passed some major hurdles with flying colors. Told you its not all bad!

Best news of all…I am going home in 19 days!!! I really did feel bad in the beginning, but I am really past it. I have been used and abused by my so called “manager”. I was entitled to go home in December when I first got here, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU boss! I am going home for my sisters biggest day of her life, and a Christmas with my family. LIKE PLANNED. Once again, thank you boss, and may I just say thank you to God, I am blessed that is why I am going home as planned, I have His crown of favor.

Psalm 34:18

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Counting the days until I get to pack my bag and get on that plane home! Hug my parents, have long chats with my sister, ride my horse. Just BE HOME.

 

You are your only limit.

There is no other way to start a post at this point in my life other than. . . What a crazy busy week! And it’s almost the end of the season? This time it’s different for me, it doesn’t really feel like the end since we have the yearling preparation going on now for the sale in January. Although we are coming to an end with the foaling season, a whole other season is in full swing. My body does not cooperate with my mind anymore…I am in constant battle of convincing myself that I can push myself more and more every day, more mentally than physically some days.

This week I have had to vaccinate all my yearlings, as well as walk paddocks every other day in conjunction with organizing and dscf6519managing a whole barn of forty yearlings with five boys which included farrier twice this week, and a vet visit, as well as daily treatments and trying to get these yearlings in tip-top shape for a sale only TWO MONTHS away! Oh my goodness, oh my goodness.

We only have about nineteen mares left to foal on the farm, which is shocking, I can’t believe it’s almost at an end!  My fourth breeding season under wraps…although a whole new season will then begin for me…I have always left a farm after all the foals were born and I have never stayed for weaning or actually seeing the foals become yearlings. So, I am really excited to do something new and also have a place to call home for a year to save up some more money for my next adventure.  I had sleepless nights thinking about this decision…Am I wasting time staying here for a whole year? Am I just going to settle because I am comfortable? WHOA, let’s just hold on to those horses for a second. I am most definitely not comfortable! Hours are long, (but that changes with the season), I am confused by choices everyday because orders are coming from so many directions, and who do you listen too? Because if you “obey” one order the other turns their back on you…that is my biggest fear, becoming the hated. Are you afraid of being hated even though you know you have done nothing wrong? I am. People confuse it for “people pleasing”, but you know what…the world we live in today you are either somebody’s friend when you can be at their beck and call but once you say, “no” or even think of saying, “no”….in a blink of an eye you are the worst enemy. That is my biggest fear, hence I try to do my best to keep everyone happy and in the end I am the one who suffers. I will do favors for you, I will go the extra mile to lend a helping hand. I will do one hundred and ten percent for people even though I know that they wouldn’t even do the same for me. What is wrong with me?

Anyways, this weekend I took a stand for myself. I said NO for the first time in a long time, I said “no”. With no explanation or excuse, I plainly said I can’t do that for you.  Usually I would give up all my plans to help someone out, to lend a helping hand. This weekend I put ME first.  So, I have got to pat myself on the back and say well done Ash, for getting some balls and standing up for yourself for once. Like they say, Rome was not built in a day!

There you go, all caught up on the news and some of my thoughts on everything. I really just want to push this thought on everyone that will read this. Don’t ask someone to do something if you are not willing to do the same for them. Take it from me, the one on the other end…I have a really big heart and the word, “no” is hard for me because of that fear of being hated. That is simply called MANIPULATION.  It is not fair; it is not fair to put someone under that pressure. Don’t let someone fear being rejected by you so they are forced to do anything. I don’t know how else to put it, once again it is just the world we live in. But as my Mom says, why try so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out.

Let me just end on this beautiful picture that I took last weekend. These mountains make me feel so small and insignificant. I stare in awe of how beautiful God’s creation is. I feel rather selfish being caught up in my fears of being rejected by the people of this world and forget that the only acceptance I really need is God’s.

robertson-edit-1

“Be who  you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

– Dr. Seuss –

What consumes your mind, controls your life.

My last post was pretty emotional. It was quiet the emotional week to be honest. I am glad that I got it all out now. I see the world through new eyes, and with a closed heart!

So, remember I told you that on this farm “challenges” come in small swells, well last week we had a tsunami of a change. We have now moved around fodscf6446rty something yearlings into stables to begin preparation for the National Yearlings sales in Cape Town next January. I must say I handled the change pretty well, still very much getting used to this “in charge” story. It’s not as easy as it looks being in charge, especially if no one sees you like that. It doesn’t help when your voice sounds like a mouse with tonsillitis, and you’re as small as a pebble amongst the boulders. It’s quite hard, but trust me this mouse can lose it too. I have lost it quite a few times already, but have learned that it doesn’t get you anywhere.

For example, I had once situation last week where I could’ve used some calming words for sure. I am not too sure of how to put this story into a political way so I will just share the point with you, the point is…I CAN catch a foal, I CAN wrestle a foal to give it a treatment, I CAN walk a yearling, I CAN hold a mare for the vet. Uh, it’s slightly frustrating being told to be careful 24/7, and being pushed to one side because a MAN can do it better. I wouldn’t do this job if I was scared? Anyways, I make the most of it by picking up a broom where I can and personally doing all of my treatments, BY MYSELF, even if the horse is crazy, I go the mile because that is the person I am.

How do you earn an authority position? I don’t know how to do this, I always thought that being the boss and making decisions was my thing…but it’s harder than it looks. Here is where it gets confusing, if you are given a position of authority and responsibility and then every time you try to earn it you get scolded for doing it wrong? Does this make any sense? This is why it’s so confusing, I am trying extremely hard to earn this position and it keeps slipping out of my fingers. Don’t give up, keep on keeping on. Yes, yes I know.

My goal this week…my goal this week is to be strong. I may be small, but I have a big heart, my Mom’s fire, and my Dad’s wisdom. I CAN do this, God would not have given me this position if He thought I couldn’t do it. That is a really encouraging thought. Plus, I must learn to stand up for my opinions. Why would you give me the authority to make a decision and then tell me it’s wrong. No, this week I am standing up for myself! And I am not going to complain about anything  … no matter how SMALL it is. No matter what is it, work, the weather, no hot water, no water at all, bad hair day, anything and everything. I will not complain about anything! Challenge accepted!

After a nice week of sleep due to no mares that felt like foaling, and a nice off weekend I am ready to kick some bum this week! No complaining, no worrying, just smiling, having a good time, being positive…it cant be that hard. I think the world thrives on negativity and anger and complaining, it’s very easy to fall into the same trap when you work with people who thrive on it. My Mom always told me that we become the people we spend our time with. Time to stand out, and realize that this is not how you want to live all the days of your life…Don’t fall into the trap, take your knife and cut yourself out, break out from that circle of negativity. Let your light shine, and keep spreading that light.

That was a whole bunch of feelings in one post. The season is almost over and with the yearlings coming I feel like we have started the season all over again. One way to keep us on our toes! Still very excited to be staying for another year. I have made my house a home, I have my cat, and my family is in the same time zone. Life is GOOD.

Until next time, spread your light this week! Go on, spread it, what are you waiting for?

Like a wild flower; she spent her days allowing herself to grow, not many knew of her struggle, but eventually all; knew of her light. – NIKKI ROWE

Time flies when your having fun!

 

Eighty-two days into my Robertson adventure, my fourth breeding season, and my second official job. I am still smiling and enjoying every single minute. There have been a lot of changes but they come in really gentle waves which makes it really easy to get used too. For instance, our days have been a pretty regular with 7:00 to 17:00 job with an occasional evening of foaling, but now we have officially begun the breeding season, everything is in full swing which includes getting up a little earlier, catching more foals, the boys (aka the Stallions) will officially start their jobs, we will be seeing a lot more of the vets and we will wake up before the sun and go home without it. That is the next few months in a short summary. With already thirty-eight foals on the ground we have had a run up to the breeding season to get us ready for vet work and treatments and all the crazy that comes with it. Thanks to this, I feel totally prepared!

A lot of times this week I have wanted to sit down and pour my heart out into a post, but my Mom has always said that you should never write when you are angry or upset. It’s been a hectic couple of weeks, like I said, a run up to the season. But also there have been unnecessary stress that doesn’t even belong here caused by things (or in fact, people) that are not worth wasting my breath on anymore. Perhaps a test? Why must there always be something or in fact someone who has to play with your happiness? It’s funny though, as much as it worries me, my happiness overtakes it times one hundred! It’s so funny actually! I am enjoying my job so much more than “they” think “they” are destroying it. Sorry, but I got some news for you. My God is greater, and He has got my back! I have worked TOO hard to get this far and for someone to destroy it!

I declare now that you are no match to my God, He holds my future and not you. I am not afraid of you!

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

As much as I am happy where I am and so very thankful, I almost have an empty feeling I cannot really describe. You are probably all to familiar with that song, “I left my heart in San Fransisco…” well, I am pretty sure I left my heart somewhere on my adventures in New Zealand and Australia. I long with all my heart and soul to go back to that holiday I had with my sister in Australia. I would re-live those three weeks over and over again. I wished it would never end! How can you miss something so bad that it actually hurts! I wish I could just get us another plane ticket and go do it all over again! I actually think it’s a condition? I have got a serious condition, and the only cure is travel (preferably with my best friend aka my sister).

Well, as much as I wished I could turn back time…I have a wonderful, let me say that again, WONDERFUL job here and now. I am going to make the most of every minute and not waste any time. I am working towards that plane ticket! THAT is my goal, well, on top of my list of goals at least!

With long days ahead and lots of hard work I am looking forward to a busy week….I am focused and prepared for anything. My mind is ready and my goals are set! Watch out world, nothing can stand in my way! More exciting news is, tomorrow will be 10 days until I wrap my arms around my family! Yes, the Hammond’s are coming down to Robertson! I am so excited, I really just can’t hide it anymore! My boss asks me everyday how is my excited scale? Uuuuh, from 1 to 10…probably 100!

Anyways, good night and good-bye!

As I leave you, remember…

Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it, you can never get it back.

HARVEY MACKAY

EDIT 1 KISS

It Is Well

The past few weeks have gone by like a flash, everyday, every week, same routine. Every now and then a challenge came my way but you know, nothing I cannot handle. I know God has always got it under control. When I cannot simply see how everything is going to work out, it just does because He has a plan to prosper and not to harm. This is my verse for life and it’s what gets me through everyday.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

We now approximately have 20 foals on the ground at the moment, 15 of which I foaled. I am adding slowly but surely to my experience, coming into this job I felt a little rusty with my foaling. I am so confident now, I feel like I would be okay on my own. At long last! It just shows you that if you have someone who is willing to show you and teach you not for their own gain but because they really want to, how far you can actually go!

It’s been a learning curve everyday on this stud, I swear there is not a day that goes by that I don’t learn something! It has been rather refreshing working on a smaller stud and actually being in “charge” of a division. I always felt a little insignificant and my opinions did not really matter. I was just the quiet one in the background doing what I am told. Not without learning anything, that was my advantage! Of course, in the beginning you are going to feel like you are a nobody, technically you are! You cannot even dream of having the experience of some of the people in your field, the people who have been working there for the past fifteen years…they were once insignificant too.

I have big decisions to make next week, and future plans to make. My heart and my mind are in constant battle between reality and fantasy. When all your options are good which one do you choose? I just need to put it in God’s Hands and know that He has got it under control!

I am also a little home sick at the moment, and long for one more hug from my Mom, one more horse ride with my Dad, one more shopping session with my sister, one more family dinner. I just need to stress how important those things are, like the words to this song go…

Well you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

You don’t really realize what you have until it’s not there anymore! I know we have all got to grow up sometime, but there is nothing wrong with missing home(especially when you have got the greatest family in the world).

Now that I am finished being highly sentimental, partly being of a small case of “homesickness”, and partly because my cat has gone walkabout again and he is out in one of the worst days of wind and rain since I have been here. He’ll be back!

So, it’s late and I did not want to leave another week without a little update. Let me end on a rather random but beautiful theory for the week. This week, let’s be pineapples, lets STAND TALL, WEAR A CROWN, AND BE SWEET ON THE INSIDE!