Make progress or make excuses.

It’s been a busy week (as usual) thankfully, no tears this week! I think I have found my greatest strength in my hardest fall. Something has changed, I feel confident and I feel like nothing can stop me. I am determined and I want to keep writing this chapter of my story. 

It’s been really busy at work, there is so much going on. Who said the off-season was quiet? Uh, no…you are so wrong my friend. It could probably be because I am currently doing the work of two people! I am actually glad because if I had to sit on my bum the whole day I think I would go insane. Sometimes I want to pull my hair out when I can’t get to everything, I have to put it off and separate everything so I can get it done. I wonder if anyone even notices how much effort I put in? It doesn’t really matter to be honest, I know and God knows…one day they will all see. 

The next few weeks are going to be glorious, I wont have this dark cloud following me around just waiting to rain on my parade. This is my time to shine, this is my time to prove myself. I am going to have to pull up my socks, and tighten my belt. I can finally throw away my umbrella and let my light shine. 

Although, I am not going to lie. I have been overwhelmed by everything that I have to do, the sales preparation of thirty plus horses and departure of two sets of sales have been put on me and everything that goes with the two. Oh, wait…you thought I was done. No, in between I have to look after the yearlings and newest weanlings, as well as the foals that are still with their Moms. Well, It should not really be much of a challenge because I have almost been doing everything anyways. So, I am actually, kind of prepared. This is just everything 2.0.

Right now I am not even going to get into how much Mrs. So anQuote 6d So doesn’t even care how everything plays out and how I have had
to hear it over and over again. I am sure I have bite marks on my tongue because I had to constantly hold my words last week. Nope, you know what, I am going to be okay. Look at me, my panic is pouring through my words. Can you blame me? I just keep thinking – I did not graduate as top student twice and survive a season in New Zealand and make it through Karaka, do four seasons IN A ROW may I add, to not be able to do my job. This is the little league compared to what God has in store for me. One day I will be a manager, this is my time to take that first step. Prove that I can do this on my own…not for my boss, Mrs. So and So (actually don’t need to prove anything to her at all), or anyone else. The person I need to prove myself to…is Me.

So, let’s do this thing. Nothing is to big for a Hammond…bring it on. I am ready! 

Until next week, Four Boots out. 

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Before Alice went to Wonderland, she had to fall.

There is a saying, “When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.” What happens if your tough got going, but it just ain’t going anywhere, anymore. What do you do then?

I know better than to ask God, why cant I just be happy? Why must there always be a person in my life that is set out to destroy me. Why? I know this is His plan…there is nothing that is happening in my life right now that He doesn’t know about. I wish I knew what I was supposed to do though, where am I supposed to go from here? I wish I had a copy of my story – wouldn’t that make life so much easier? Then again, given the choice…would you really want a copy of your story? Would you want to know every detail? I know, I know – what lessons would you learn from not going through hardships, what would you learn if everything came easy?

How much pain do you have to go through until ‘giving up’ is okay?

I don’t have this blog to always write about the good times, people have hard times too…it’s all apart of the story.

Last week was one of the toughest weeks for me…it has been a build up for a long time but I finally cracked. I have always just pushed it aside, in hope that it will get better. That is just who I am. My breaking point came on a hot, Friday afternoon when I was called useless. I literally got a sharp pain in my chest as my heart broke…never in my life have I been put in a category as useless. I dedicated two years of my life on learning to do what I do, and always give it one hundred and ten percent. You couldn’t even begin to imagine what is behind this smile, what pain, what blood, sweat, and tears, all the stories behind becoming who I am today. You know what, I wouldn’t change any of it! Not one detail.

I have enjoyed every single minute on this farm, I have enjoyed the laughs, survived the tears, and made it through the pain. I can write pages and pages on how much I have learned, and how much I have done here. Is this God’s way of saying, “C’mon Ash, don’t get comfortable now, your story has a twist! It’s time for a new adventure.” I don’t know.

There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you have had enough.

I am just lucky that I have an amazing family by my side…I never have to go through anything alone, I never have to make any decisions alone. I just cant go wrong. That is where some people make the biggest mistake. I actually heard it in church today, the worst thing you can do is go through anything alone. Proverbs 4:7 – The beginning of wisdom is this: GET WISDOM. Though it cost you all you have. We should never be afraid to ASK questions, to ask for help. That is how we gain wisdom.

I am going to end on this quote that I found, it sums up what I am going through perfectly!

Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you. 

Here is too what is to come!